quinta-feira, janeiro 01, 2009

Cachorros-quentes kosher

Ainda acabavam de podar o Bernie e eis que desponta o Arnie.

If convicted, he faced more than 30 years in prison.»

Há qualquer coisa de extremamente poético em "cachorro-quente kosher" (kosher hot-dogs). Assim, de repente, até me lembra uma série de blogues rinofílicos assolapados cá do burgo. Cachorro quente kosher é, sem sombra de dúvida, um novo marco na cultura e na metáfora.

Mas o cronograma deste empreendedor Arnie é, todo ele, um poema:

* 1974: Having developed an interest in politics, Zaler quits a job as a salesman and goes to work on Gary Hart's U.S. Senate campaign.

* 1979: Zaler runs for Denver City Council, but loses to incumbent Kenneth MacIntosh.

* Early 1980s: After moving to Arizona, Zaler starts a software company. He also begins a well-publicized push for the state to recognize the federal Martin Luther King holiday.

* 1994: Investors in the software company begin filing civil lawsuits against Zaler, saying they are not seeing promised returns.

* 1995: Zaler is charged in Grand County with fraud by check after writing a bad $11,000 check to a ranch where he stayed with his girlfriend for two weeks. He is later arrested by the New York Port Authority.

* 1996: Arizona prosecutors charge Zaler with more than 50 counts of fraud and other crimes, saying his software business was a pyramid scheme.

* 1997: Zaler is sentenced to 14,5 years in prison.

* 2002: With credit for time served and good behavior, Zaler is released. He returns to Denver, where he later opens Zaler's Kosher Meats.

* 2005: Zaler gets a contract to sell kosher hot dogs at the Pepsi Center.

* February: Zaler is indicted on 30 counts of bank, wire and mail fraud. The indictment alleges he lied to investors about contracts to sell hot dogs at Denver sports venues.

* April: A federal judge issues an arrest warrant for Zaler after an FBI agent says he has fled the country for Israel, in violation of his bond.»

Mas permitam que realce a minha parte preferida, onde, havemos de concordar, Arnie, bem à semelhança de Bernie, alcança foros de maravilha:

He also began ingratiating himself back into the Denver area's Jewish community.
In 2005, Zaler got a contract to open a concessions stand at the Pepsi Center. He also had stands at Coors Field and Invesco Field at Mile High.»

Caso para concluir: Lúgubres tempos, estes -tempos de prodígios e monstruosidades aberrantes! -, quando até os judeus se entregam, metodicamente, ao canibalismo.

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