A Coisa, ou Arma de Distracção Maciça

 

«Is 14-legged killer squid found TWO MILES beneath Antarctica being weaponised by Putin?»

Mas se julgais que o Vladimir Vladimirovitch Putin anda apenas a treinar lulas gigantes para atacar o oxidente estais redondamente enganados. Há toda uma panóplia de horrores e abominações em rampa de lançamento. Os ingleses (versão paleo ou neo) - quem mais? - revelam-no, a cada vinte minutos. Cavadelas delirantes? Minhocas radioactivas também não faltam.

Podem atestar aqui de todo o vasto cardápio, capaz de fazer corar de inveja qualquer ala dos furiosos dum qualquer super-hospício para casos incuráveis.

Mas há apenas um item que que me deixa particularmente deslumbrado. E não, não são as baratas robóticas: é mesmo a "estupidez".  O autor da revelação é duma lógica inabalável. Basta ler a conclusão do artigo:

«Isn’t it obvious that the whole thing has the Hand of Putin all over it? Isn’t it clear that Putin has been Weaponising Stupidity itself? And wouldn’t that explain all the other instances of stupid behaviour we have witnessed over the past few years?

But how, you say. Well let’s say that the Russians have invented some way of making people do or say really ignorant or stupid things — things that actually work against their interests and those of the people they lead. And suppose they have also discovered a way of putting it into capsule form. Well, Putin and members of the Russian Government have met with most high ranking Western leaders at various forums haven’t they? They’ve probably even had a cup of tea with most of them (emphasis on the word probably, which is a British legal term for certainly). How easy would it have been for them to slip a pill into their drink while they weren’t looking?

What about the media, though? Whilst the capsule explanation might explain the behaviour of a handful of politicians, they can’t have had tea with every Western journalist that writes stupid things about Russia or the Middle East can they? Of course not. But then if they have invented a way of Weaponising Stupidity, and if they have discovered the technology to put it into capsule form, who’s to say they can’t find a way of, say, pumping it into newspaper offices through the air-conditioning?

All well and good you might say, but it does beg a question: Why would Putin want to make Western leaders do and say stupid things? What benefit would he get out of Weaponising Stupidity? Again the answer is obvious, is it not? The more the leaders of Western countries and the media have displayed their folly and sheer ignorance, the more they have dragged their countries towards collapse. And since Putin’s goal is obviously to Weaponise the World, no doubt for his own dastardly reasons, you can begin to see how it would be in his interests to use Stupidity as a Weapon to achieve his aims. Can’t you?

Then again, I don’t want to be overly dogmatic about my new theory. I may be wrong. In fact, I still hold out the possibility that the truth might well be much simpler. It could just be a case that we really are run by ignorant buffoons who never learn, and even if Mr Putin were inclined to develop a way of Weaponising Stupidity, he’d actually be wasting his time.»

Agora, os meus caros leitores reparem num detalhe nada despiciendo: toda esta paranoia colectiva e colectivizada com o Santo Putin que acabo de apontar não é pós-intervenção da Disneycrânia: é de 2018. Pior, este magnífico artigo sobre a "belo-estupidez" é de...2016!!

À presente data, nem sequer se pode dizer que a histeria aumentou por aí além (exceptuando talvez a parelha de muares Milhafres/Rogeiro). O que se pode asseverar, sem margem para dúvidas, é que a estupidez, a oxidente, de tão assanhada, furibunda e ribombante, constitui não apenas a principal arma com que o bloco de Aleste está equipado e promete consecutivas razias, como deveio mesmo a arma de distracção maciça...por excelência!

PS: Outra certeza que importa registar duma vez por todas, é que esta russofobia (mascarada de putinoclastia obsessiva) não tem nada a ver com a intervenção de 2022. Vem de longe. Rasteja debaixo das pedras há muito tempo. Já eram velhacos e decrépitos - a cair de podre -, os filhos da puta. Com a SMO (special militar operation) aproveitaram apenas para sair do armário. Instaurado o carnaval, no meio do bacanal e da confusão, sempre acreditam que passam mais desapercebidos.